"I can't give you a sweet word of consolation. I can't say "It's gonna be okay someday." I just hope there will be more active losers like me in the world."

It's been just over two weeks now since I released Maybe Next Year... and the lingering feeling of release is still just so extremely fulfilling after spending close to a month working. I'm so grateful to every last one of the hundreds who have downloaded and played through my projects. It means the world to me!

Today, I'd like to talk a little bit about the development process of Maybe Next Year..., and give some insights into how this project came to life from nothing. Of course, this afterword will include spoilers here and there, so be wary!

1 - Outline

For all of my work until this point, the development process started from the outline! Throughout the past year, I've taken a strong liking to LibreOffice for writing. While I have issues with the software, such as the difficulty of changing page styles on the fly, it is likable enough. Really though, there are many pieces of software out there, but you don't need anything fancy! For Answer to Dream!!, I largely used Windows Notepad and Joplin to organize my work as I fleshed out my various dreams. Using anything unfamiliar is going to create an unnecessary hurdle. In my case, that even meant working on the script from an existing file. While it isn't the most organized thing to do, it can help with emotions, like a familiar sketchbook, or doodling in the margins of your calculus homework. Simple is often best.

I'm someone who writes everyday, whether that be journaling, or logging dreams, and I often have a lot to work with in terms of ideas that I want to pull from. Maybe Next Year... was inspired in part by a short story I submitted for a writing contest earlier in 2025. To fit the theme of toxic yuri, I wanted to focus on the frustrations of someone who receives nothing but rejection and pity, and how they can lash out at the ones they love the most. I let my delusions take the reins.

Something of important note is that during the scriptwriting process, I didn't have a clear idea of what any individual character would look like. For some, they might find working on character design and locations more important to their brainstorming process than a written outline. Personally speaking though, I feel the most free when I'm in front of a keyboard. 

When working on the outline, I really wanted to include violence within the story. I demanded blood! I considered having someone be killed, and the motivations behind that idea. Would Anna consider killing her art teacher? Well, perhaps, but that doesn't necessarily emphasize her relationship with Tomyris so much as it is her internal struggle, so I crossed that idea out. The story was at first seven chapters, then six, and finally five as I trimmed off the fat and tried to focus on the most important story arcs. For that reason, it can feel that the story is a little rushed. All of the events of Maybe Next Year... occur within the span of a single day, after all. We don't see as much buildup as might be more satisfying.

Internal turmoil is a core aspect of this story. Anna struggles to keep her emotions in check when bombarded with failure, rejection, and pity from all sides, in addition to her lack of mental health support as she is off her meds. Writing about the world inside is very visceral for me, and I find it much easier to write, but I wondered at times whether or not I was giving the relationship enough credit where it was due. I think Tomyris is exceedingly charming, and I don't doubt that I rounded out her character excellently in such a short span of time. This is one of my first few stories involving multiple characters, and while I adore the back-and-forth it provides, I think I still have some space to grow.

2 - Programming

Programming is my least favorite part of the game development process. While there are many creative and beautiful things you can do with it, such as customizing menus to look fancier, changing the title of the window as you progress through the game, and so on, the process largely feels like a chore. I feel I'm doing no more than actualizing the idea from inside my head onto the page. Depending on how you look at it, maybe it can be considered meditative.

Maybe Next Year... is my second project using Ren'Py. Because of this, I already knew a lot of the ins and outs of how to use the software and get things to look the way that I want to. I carried over a little bit of the style from Answer to Dream!!, such as using NVL, or an 800x600 resolution, since I was already used to both. Just to get things going, I wanted a very simple interface with everything I would need to be able to play and beat the game using the text from an earlier draft. In that way, it was like I was making the game's skeleton.

When I look back at my code for Answer to Dream!!, I'm genuinely disgusted and horrified at the utter lack of organization I had to have to throw labels and scenes around randomly with the most irrelevant names. Just look around at it for yourself if you might be so inclined... Dear... I tried to amend that as much as I could with Maybe Next Year..., and I'd like to think I succeeded. Buttons, scenes, sprites, music, and sound effects are all organized relatively neatly now. It's nice to put things right from the get-go!

3 - Character Design

Let organization be a lesson not only for programming, but also for drawing! And if that sounds like an odd thing to say, especially considering drawing is at its least just a pencil and paper, I really mean to talk about hotkeys and layers. That's because one of my absolute favorite aspects about drawing digitally is the ease. No longer will your wrists be covered in graphite, your desk with eraser shavings, or your tongue with charcoal! 

Clip Studio Paint is my weapon of choice when it comes to drawing. I first tried it out after some combination of being suggested it by an old friend around 2021, as well as seeing illustrators such as Naoki Saitou use the software in their videos and streams. At this point, I really believe I've spent more time in this program than I have with a real pencil and paper, and I'm just in love. 

There are many methods you can use to optimize your usage of drawing software. One of them is to get your windows situated exactly where you want them. I took inspiration from the manga artist Sumito Oowara's layout from watching his streams regularly. I found the familiarity comforting. Something else I would suggest heavily is to bind and learn your hotkeys! Really! My hotkey setup is inspired by Mentha Nolana.

Layers are something important to think about. When it comes to visual novels, you have to do a lot with a little. The face of a person is the most expressive part of their body, followed by their hands. Because of that, most visual novels change the facial expression of their characters to represent the emotions of any given scene. How do you organize these facial expressions though? One of the easiest ways would be to render out individually a sprite for each emotion. Though, what I find gives me more freedom is to render the individual parts of the face as separate files. That is, the mouth, eyes, brows, and so on. If you choose to render your facial expressions this way, you can expedite and make the process smoother by organizing everything into named layers and folders within CSP, as well as in your files themselves. Just give them a very short filename if you can help it! 

I often like to use references when drawing. I don't know much about the basics of art, proportions, or shadows, but I try my best! I'm entirely self-taught, and have been drawing since as long as I can remember. The artists I primarily admire are Akio Watanabe and Megumi Kouno. While I am a huge fan of the illustrative styles such as Ryuuko Ooishi, three-tone anime style drawings feel much more accessible. I still have a lot to learn.

When designing Anna, I wanted her to have relatively short hair, hoping to try something a little different from Answer to Dream!! I was inspired by characters such as Kino from Kino's Journey, who have such a cool and androgynous look to them! To top off her design, I gave her a simple white collared button-up shirt. I have a serious infatuation with collars, buttons, and suits... I had some hesitations somewhat that this style of presentation might contrast with Anna's anxious personality, or the fact that she has marks from harming herself. I considered whether she would want to hide her face or her wrists from others. It's a lot to consider.

I wanted Tomyris's design to be softer. Her hair is a little longer, and her face is a bit fatter. I went through at least three sketches before landing on something I thought would be appealing. Considering the story of Maybe Next Year... takes place during the summer, I gave Tomyris a showy tank top. Because of how many variations I went through with her design, I thought about having one of them be reserved for Jane, before deciding against the idea. Tomyris's design is partially inspired by Max Caulfield from Life is Strange, a game I played last December with a group of friends.

One of the most noticeable elements of this story's character design is the lack of color, shading, as well as the vague purple outlines surrounding characters along the noisy backgrounds. I was inspired to go with this aesthetic for a few reasons. The first, of course, would be that it would be less time consuming, while also remaining somewhat stylized. The second, is due to an inspiration from the album art from many shoegaze musicians, such as Parannoul, what is your name?, and especially PostmodernHippie.

4 - Release!

Every game jam has a deadline, and the Toxic Yuri VN Jam is no different. Is everything working? Nothing broken? No crashes? Bugs? Have you playtested? What about on someone else's machine? Do you have enough time to make a PV? Decorate the itch.io page? The process of cleaning everything up and pushing it out for the world to see is extremely stressful, and it had my body shaking like a scared dog. 

The most important thing is that the game itself is complete. Everything else can come later. There is no deadline for the promotion of your project outside of the core zip file itself. Learning and being able to prioritize in that respect is extremely important for getting things done, and moreso, the right things done at the right time. If you have to make compromises, then make them.

The font used in the credits as well as the itch.io page is inspired by that used in promotional material for the movie Mysterious Skin, including that off-kilter kerning. The majority of the photographs and backgrounds used throughout the game and on the itch.io page are photos I've taken myself, or processed images from various movies I watched.

Thank you so much for reading all the way to the end! While everything is still fresh in my mind now, I want to be considerate to my future self who may be wondering how she could have possibly made something like a visual novel from scratch within the span of only a month. I want to drill the hurdles I dragged my feet into throughout this period, and learn from my mistakes so I can grow as a creator. I hope you find this afterword of even some value. 

Let's meet again under the moonlight, shall we?

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